"I have made a decision to try not to put my self in situations where I could possibly be tempted to become intimate with guys. I aim to try not to be alone with guys, particularly in circumstances like watching films. This doesn’t mean that I am saying I never see guys socially; it’s just that I try to be with them when there are others around. Don’t get me wrong this is sometimes crazy hard, but you know what; I am so aware that if I do get in situations where I then become intimate with someone I am just becoming involved in a superficial relationship which is not built on love and trust."
Amy |
"Boundaries for me means things like, not spending prolonged amounts of time on my own with a female, making sure I am accountable to someone, this means talking to someone about my relationships and giving them permission to ask me any questions about stuff."
Smudge |
"I have put boundaries in the relationships that are in my life, for example I make sure I’m not on my own with a guy in a place where we can’t be interrupted, especially late at night. I try to avoid texting and instant messaging guys because it’s a really dangerous way for me to say things that I would never say in person. I also stay clear of myspace and facebook because it’s just another way for me to find security from other people, I got fed up of checking my profile everyday to see if someone had left me a message or looked at my photos. For me it was a way to be someone that I thought guys wanted me to be, I could pick and change the photos on there and be anyone I wanted. I have changed the way I dress because I’m secure enough to not need attention from guys for how I look."
Lilly |
"To maintain my sexual purity there have been some boundaries I’ve had to be aware of, some learnt through others and some through my own stupidity. The most important thing has been not to flirt. Its seems that flirting is the first snowflake that could lead to an avalanche.
Its been hard to learn that flirting is not innocent action, for what could be a simple deed to me to get something I want or to feel better about myself for a man I would be toying with him emotionally and physically. I’ve realised that flirting is just a manipulative tool; truthfully I don’t want to have to seduce a man. I want a man that will look at me for who I really am and love me unconditionally, romance isn’t dead. I believe that man is out there so I am going to keep my sexual purity that belongs to him. Our relationship wont be clouded by past relationships and insecurities. That I can show him that he truly is the man I love by giving him the most intimate part of me. A man that is prepared to wait is a worthy man, I don’t wont to sell myself short or feel used.
To help make the lifestyle easier, I’ve got to make practical decisions to stay away from anything that’s going to take me to a place where I could give my virginity to the wrong person that doesn’t think I’m beautiful inside and out. This goes from not going clubbing (where sex is very much on offer and on everyone’s brains) to not fuelling desires with pornography that warp ideas of sex into something dirty and insignificant."
KG |
"We have been dating for 5 years now and we have kept pure since my decision, we have put boundaries in place to protect ourselves, like not having late nights and having dates in public and we are both t – total because we are aware from past experiences the effects of alcohol!!"
Eveie |
"By not spending lots of time alone with a girl on my own in my house or private places it has helped me maintain sexual purity. I try and not have late night chats to girls as it helps to keep my mind off sex."
Ezra |
"I’ve made conscious decisions of boundaries to put in place so that I am prepared in advance to walk away from any situation that I know could lead to some form of sexual activity/thought/emotion. Be confident not ashamed of your boundaries, make sure a guy you are seeing knows them( if he isn‘t interest in them he‘s probably not interested in you), make sure you know them, make sure a friend knows them, that way you don’t have to struggle with them but can make them a part of your everyday life."
Rochelle |
"I really believe boundaries not only protect me from getting hurt but also to protect the male friends in my life. Boundaries i believe are so important and really help you stay on the right and best path in relationships with the opposite sex. In my past i have never had boundaries and i have been seriously hurt because i did not protect myself. My relationships with my male friends have really grown in the fact that i am able to have a good friendship with them and they know my boundaries and i feel respected by them."
Katherine
|
"I live it by putting certain measures in my life which affects what books I read, music I listen to or what movies I watch for example. I therefore put some boundaries in my life such as keeping away from late night one on one situations with a girl or refraining from flirting through late night texting or something, which was just the first step that led me to somewhere I did not need or want to be in the past. I have close friends in my life who I have allowed to call me on any behaviour they may feel is leading me down the road towards sexual intimacy with someone. I mean I would not wanna go down that road if I don’t intend to fulfil it within the context of marriage."
Mulenga |
