Falling down a hole is an experience. Not an experience that I want.

In my life I have experienced many things, good and bad. The negative experiences drive me to do what I do today. As a youth pastor I am desperate to protect teenagers from the hurt and destruction that were a result of my own stupid mistakes.

To me it is simple: if you fell down a hole and broke your leg, you would invest time and energy into directing people away from that hole.

And so it never ceases to amaze me when I am asked “why can’t I experience things for myself?”. “Things” including: drinking alcohol, smoking, drug-taking, partying, sexual experiences etc. Things that I’m told are ‘normal teenager things’ although Galatians 5 tells me they're unacceptable. Well, here are some of the reasons why you shouldn’t try to experience these things:

1. It didn’t turn out alright in the end.

You might look at my life and think that I turned out alright despite the bad experiences. I have even heard it said that without the experiences I wouldn’t be as good a youth pastor. Rubbish.

I would prefer to be able to say “I managed to avoid those things and look how great my life is as a result” than “I’m a damaged mess from loads of mistakes but I can try to teach you how to do it differently”. You have no idea how I feel daily or what God has to constantly do in my life to repair the damage I caused. I am not a success story because of my past, but because God is gracious enough to use me anyway.

2. Getting it out of your system.

Teenagers often reassure me that they are simply “getting it out of their system”. Once they’ve done everything they need to do now, they’ll spend the rest of their lives devoted to God and all things pure.

I have news for you: you’re not getting it out of your system, you’re putting it in to your system. One 19 year old texted me recently, “I wish I had no past, nothing that can grow in me that isn’t pure”. Whatever you put into your life will grow. If you want to get it out of your system, don’t put it into your system, in fact avoid it at all costs and don’t even entertain the thought of it.

3. There’s nothing great about regret.

When I look back on my life I feel sick with regret at what I did to myself and others. Regret is not a short term thing. It doesn’t go away if you ignore it, and it hangs around a long time after you’ve sorted your life out.

They will never invent a time machine to allow me to go back and undo what I did. Every moment I wasted drunk was a moment I could have been helping people. Every friend I hung out with back then, I took with me down a dark path. I may have escaped with my life, but I helped them to lose theirs. How much more could I have achieved by experiencing the great things God had for me rather than the shallow things the world offered?

4. Little reminders

Usually when you’re doing the things that you think all teenagers should do, there are other people there. So when you’re done having your funny five minutes and you’re convinced that God has made you pure again, there’s always someone who wants to remind you who you used to be. In ten years time, when you’re married with children, you could find yourself working opposite your drunken-one-night-stand. Gross.

Even if you leave the country, you can’t leave yourself behind. You think the devil won’t constantly remind you who you used to be? You think you won’t constantly feel like you’re not worthy to be a great man or woman of God?

5. The bigger picture

You may think that you are smarter than most people: smoking a joint won’t lead to a crack-cocaine habit, your first sexual experience won’t cause you to be promiscuous or pregnant, your occasional drunk night out won’t rot your liver. Ok, maybe none of that will happen to you. But what about other long-term consequences?

You are more than a physical body, you are an emotional and spiritual being, everything you do affects you both emotionally and spiritually. For your body it may be a brief sexual encounter but for your spirit it’s a deep emotional attachment. You are a complete body-soul-spirit person and you cannot detach your body from your spirit when you go somewhere or do something that isn’t godly.

Let’s not forget eternal consequences. If the Bible says don’t do it, then don’t do it. Disobeying God is a sin and it doesn’t matter how you reason it, that’s the way it is. Hebrews 10 tells us that if we continue sinning after we have received knowledge of the truth then we leave ourselves open to God’s judgement. Why would you choose that when purity and godliness is so simple and so life-giving?!

Not all experiences should be experienced, and I urge you, if you should fall down a hole – please navigate me around it.